we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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