She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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