I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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