peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize