"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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