I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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