Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Found your dick twin last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
