NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
