I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
