the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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