He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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