She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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