He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
