Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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