I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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