I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
