Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
