why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
