I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
