it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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