i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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