I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
