apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
