remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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