all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
