insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
