But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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