: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
