Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
