So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
