i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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