ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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