I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
