I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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