I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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