love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
