Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
