oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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