You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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