So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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