Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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