just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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