party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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