So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
