This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
