he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
