Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
