You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
