at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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