AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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