hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize