and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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