Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
