I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
